Caught Between Two Worlds: Tinsel and Poverty

I haven’t written a blog lately because I haven’t really known what to say. I frequently feel caught in the tension of this world, which silences and gives me pause. Often my heart and soul is the site of a daily battlefield fighting to define my position in this world and my place in it. And even some moments I am at war with myself floundering between my culture and my past with my present life constantly challenging my worldview and core being.

I am currently in Kenya for a three-week vacation and this mental combat zone has followed me. In Madagascar, I left behind a people I have come to love fighting for tomorrow while I am on holiday only to be greeted with the same struggle in another country. They don’t have the ability to stop their lives and enjoy eggnog and tinsel but are fighting for another day of survival. Some moments I wish to reenter my naïve, comfortable bubble and escape the unfair horrors I witness everyday.

Living in such a tension has made me appreciative of the simple, humble joys in life. This holiday season, I am (sometimes painfully) learning and valuing the importance of traditions, relationships, and the merger of where I have come from and where I am now. Last week I was able to travel to the Kenyan coast with a friend from graduate school soaking up the sun, relaxing, and swapping Africa stories. More than all of that, Adam was a piece of home and a reminder of what I left behind, a fact sometimes forced to be forgotten in order to cope with the present. It was a connection I desperately needed to keep going and alleviate some of my holiday homesickness.

Life in Africa is not always fun and adventurous as some would like to believe. This week I am feeling the sacrifice and the holiday pleasures my family and I have forfeited to be here. At the same time, I am reminded of the sacrifice my Savior made to enter this foreign land and join in solidarity with humanity in an effort to change our fate. I am so grateful that he didn’t waiver in his commitment to his people and thus, to Him will I look to as the source of my strength as I too attempt to follow his example.