Banana Bread

I have forgotten how to be a neighbor. I remember as a child that my mother was always a shining example of neighborly behavior. She hosted block Christmas parties, took us around regularly to say 'hello' to our elderly neighbors who gave us candy and my parents just knew the names, faces and families on our block. Even though it was a poorer neighborhood with drug dealers and gang members, I never felt unsafe as a child. Perhaps it was that childhood innocence but I think it was also the fact that there is security in knowing who lives around you.

Laying more on the introverted side of the spectrum, I tend not to make the first move socially. I think even more than that is my fear that people are busy and don't want to be bothered. They are looking at their phone, rushing to their car, walking a dog or toting a child. We, myself included, have placed ourselves in a bubble that reads the same as an 'unwelcome' sign outside our door.

Being married to an extrovert and someone who isn't afraid of people, I have been challenged by my spouse to be different in my recent neighborly behavior. I lament about my desire to know and be close to those around me, but the social barriers that we put up plus my hesitancy to be a bother clashes. Plus, I feel like I am the newbie in town, people should reach out to me and not the other way around.

So with my husbands encouragement and my baking skills we set off to conquer the beast within me. Sunday night I stayed up late sweating in our tiny kitchen making banana bread. The goal was to give banana bread to our neighbors the following morning. Husband and I struck a compromise. He wanted to knock on the door and hand deliver the banana bread provoking a conversation. I wanted to leave it anonymously outside their door. We left it outside their door with a sticky note disclosing our identify.

In the wake of this banana bread, the response has been shocking. I expected a simple 'thank-you' from the recipients but we have gotten so much more than that. One neighbor has now organized drinks after work one evening inviting the rest of the neighbors in our building. Another personally came to our door giving us new neighborly tips in regards to parking. And lastly, I had a conversation more than just 'hello' with a guy living across from us.

It is very encouraging to see such a positive response. My ultimate desire would be to rent a bouncy castle, shut down the street and host a block party. I am not sure I am ready to do that just yet, maybe after I bake some chocolate chip cookies, hand out a Christmas basket and a potted plant. Due to the response, I think all of us are looking for the same thing - friendship and relationship. We all experience loneliness and desire a sense of belonging.