Banana Bread

I have forgotten how to be a neighbor. I remember as a child that my mother was always a shining example of neighborly behavior. She hosted block Christmas parties, took us around regularly to say 'hello' to our elderly neighbors who gave us candy and my parents just knew the names, faces and families on our block. Even though it was a poorer neighborhood with drug dealers and gang members, I never felt unsafe as a child. Perhaps it was that childhood innocence but I think it was also the fact that there is security in knowing who lives around you.

Laying more on the introverted side of the spectrum, I tend not to make the first move socially. I think even more than that is my fear that people are busy and don't want to be bothered. They are looking at their phone, rushing to their car, walking a dog or toting a child. We, myself included, have placed ourselves in a bubble that reads the same as an 'unwelcome' sign outside our door.

Being married to an extrovert and someone who isn't afraid of people, I have been challenged by my spouse to be different in my recent neighborly behavior. I lament about my desire to know and be close to those around me, but the social barriers that we put up plus my hesitancy to be a bother clashes. Plus, I feel like I am the newbie in town, people should reach out to me and not the other way around.

So with my husbands encouragement and my baking skills we set off to conquer the beast within me. Sunday night I stayed up late sweating in our tiny kitchen making banana bread. The goal was to give banana bread to our neighbors the following morning. Husband and I struck a compromise. He wanted to knock on the door and hand deliver the banana bread provoking a conversation. I wanted to leave it anonymously outside their door. We left it outside their door with a sticky note disclosing our identify.

In the wake of this banana bread, the response has been shocking. I expected a simple 'thank-you' from the recipients but we have gotten so much more than that. One neighbor has now organized drinks after work one evening inviting the rest of the neighbors in our building. Another personally came to our door giving us new neighborly tips in regards to parking. And lastly, I had a conversation more than just 'hello' with a guy living across from us.

It is very encouraging to see such a positive response. My ultimate desire would be to rent a bouncy castle, shut down the street and host a block party. I am not sure I am ready to do that just yet, maybe after I bake some chocolate chip cookies, hand out a Christmas basket and a potted plant. Due to the response, I think all of us are looking for the same thing - friendship and relationship. We all experience loneliness and desire a sense of belonging.

Facebook breakup!

I am shutting down my Facebook. It's decided. After hemming and hawing about it for several months, I am going to follow through on this.

There are several reasons why I am closing my account.

1.) I am a person who highly values meaningful, organic, quality relationships. My needs as an individual in the realm of people isn't satisfied but rather aggravated by Facebook. I desire to be in that photo with a friend, drinking a cup of coffee at that coffee shop tagged in your status update or sharing that laugh instead of 'lol-ing' online.

So how am I going to accomplish this in a cyber age, long-distance relationship friendship world I live in?

I want to become more intentional about my interactions with people. So instead of sending a Facebook message on your birthday, I want to go to the store, buy a card and send it to you. I also want to fill my time with other things than screens, so I am going to try to know and love my neighbors more, do meaningful things for the people around me and play with my dog if there is absolutely nothing else to do -- which I am sure she'll appreciate.

2.) I want to be more creative than status updates and uploading photos. As a kid, I always enjoyed going through the family albums. There is nothing like a photograph to bring back memories and nostalgia. My first personal goal is to start these for my family. Take those online photos and put them in an album that I and my family can enjoy.

In an effort to be creative in my writing as well as not completely sever my long-distance friendships, I will post weekly on my blog site. So instead of keeping me on your Facebook friends list, you can favorite my blog site and intentionally check me out. This is a commitment on both of our parts. I want to keep you informed and involved in my life wherever you are by writing posts or uploading a photo and you can express intentionality by visiting my blog -- which is a bit harder than checking me out with your other 200+ Facebook friends over your morning coffee.

Hopefully this new 'relationship' will be more meaningful for both of us.

3.) I want to simplify.

4.) I don't want to learn about your life electronically. Don't be afraid - come visit, let's set up a Skype chat or phone call or send me a text message.

So stay tuned! First blog post coming Sunday, August 30th!