The BIG life!

One of the books that has changed my life is A Million Miles in a Thousand Year's by Donald Miller. Mr. Miller challenged me to live a good story. My life isn't a path laid out for me to follow but rather a trail to blaze. I am writing my life's story with my daily decisions, choices, relationships and investments.

I want my life to be a story others would want to read, and most importantly, that I myself am interested in. I have remembered this at different times and sometimes chosen the harder, more risky path for the sake of a good story. I have never been disappointed. 

Of course there are things about my life that are mundane, boring and traditional. But I like to think that my mind is in tune with the story I am writing with my life.  As I simmer in the boring and mundane moments of life, it is only fuel to the fire waiting to be lite in me to be bold, daring and adventurous when the opportunity arises. 

Mr. Miller wrote a small guide on how to start life over, whether you are 20 or 70.

Some of my favorite quotes are:

"...nobody changes at all if they don’t believe they’re supposed to."

"Get rid of anything that doesn’t need to be in your life. Realize you don’t have to be stuck in a rut."

"Warren Buffett says the secret to successful people is they have learned to say no to almost everything. They aren’t people who go around seeking security. They seek the big life."

I have seen Helen Keller's famous quote several times recently: "Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all." This quote along with Mr. Miller's guide is inviting me to continue writing my story in daring and adventurous ways. 

Guide: http://storybrand.com/downloads/Start-Life-Over.pdf 
(Even if you don't identify with the Christian faith, there are some valuable insights in this writing)

Call to Prayer

The church across from my office is closed all the time. The door is securely locked, the windows bolted, the lights off. The only thing that changes on a weekly basis is the weekly service schedule and sermon title. Some life must exist there, I just don't ever see it. It is very unfortunate as it is the most beautiful building in town. It is also strategically placed in the center of the town square. Everything else around it lives, breaths and functions on a daily basis.

I remember the first time I heard the call to prayer. I was 19 years old and freshly off the plane in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania - my first time in Africa. I was lying on a cold tile floor with only a camping mat underneath me and a thin airplane blanket to cover me. I had been up several times during the night sick with food poisoning. When the call to prayer struck, it was a jolt to my body I had never felt before. I felt like I was actually in the mosque it was so loud. I have to admit, I was a little freaked out. A man signing into a megaphone in a foreign language, to what seemed to be still the middle of the night, was a bit shocking to my feverish body and never traveled soul.

The call to prayer is very memorable. When I lived in Congo, there was a mosque on the hill across from our house. I remember it waking me up all the time when I first moved there. After a week or so, I learned to sleep through it - unlike the roosters. At certain times it was my wake up call and even a lullaby. It provided a sense of security that all was right in the town. When there was insecurity, I remember lying awake waiting for the call to prayer to give the signal that we made it through the night and day break was coming. The morning call to prayer was always distinct, I never remember hearing the others throughout the day.

At times, the call to prayer wasn't just for the Muslims. Sometimes the call to prayer saved me from my own an anxious heart. It reminded me that people were alive and the community had a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for my own town.

Quote

"Don’t let the darkness from your past block the light of joy in your present. What happened is done. Stop giving time to things which no longer exist, when there is so much joy to be found here and now."

Karen Salmansohn

Community Life

(Modified and written a few months ago)

As our 1 yr wedding anniversary rapidly approaches, reflections over this past year have come to mind. Our celebration was an amazing testament of our relationship, family and journey. All things considered, we have had a great first year of marriage. No one spent a night on the couch; we made it through 14 months of unemployment; made four international trips; survived the riots of Baltimore; moved to a new city; and learned, laughed, loved and cried along the way.

One of our greatest struggles this last year has been loneliness. Despite having each other and embarking on this new journey, we both experienced loneliness like never before. Moving back to the United States for me and the first time for the husband has been one of our biggest, most painful adjustment. Adjusting our expectations of people, transportation systems, family, church and work life has been at times overwhelming.

We came from a microcosm of community life. Whether you like each other or not, living life as an expat in a foreign country automatically creates community. You usually share at least one common language, educational background, food preferences and societal norms. When in a place where you are the minority, you cling to each other if for nothing else than comfort in similar-ness.

Stepping into a country as large as the U.S., it is quite easy to feel overwhelmed and lost in the shuffle. It feels like every one else has their space, their friends, their life and their busy-ness. It takes a strong concerted effort to break through that, which sometimes I must admit we have lost motivation for.

This last year, we have searched and feel we still come up short. For fifteen months we attended the same church. After fighting to find a place, we moved on only to realize that it is hard to fit in anywhere. We might just be looking for something that doesn't exist. A natural place where you think you can build community has been disappointing. We felt lost in a sea of people who have their own stuff going on.

Aside from that social avenue, we have gone to meetup.com events, invited neighbors for happy hour, reached out to co-workers for weekend rendezvous and a plethora of other activities. Our experience has always been that of going on a fun first date but yet you never get that call back for a second.

The most interesting part of all of this is that most everyone we have come in contact with is lonely. It seems as though we are surrounded by lonely people. We hear the same story on those first date encounters - "making friends post-college is difficult." Initially we saw a rise in human interaction after getting a dog. Now it feels like we need to have a kid so we can piggy back off their friendships to meet the parents.

All that to say, we are not friendless. We have some amazing friends and family. Unfortunately, we find that the majority of them live far away. We wish for days gone by when your best friend lived down the street. The days when you eat your peanut butter sandwich on the front porch, play for hours on the swing and bury each other in the piles of leaves. The days when making friends was merely as simple as two human beings in the same place at the same time -- that was reason enough to be friends.

We are still hopeful that as our community grows and strengthens, we can continue to share life in meaningful ways. Of course we will never be completely lonely, we have each other and that is the beauty this marriage has taught us thus far.